近授影視聲音創作，提及常建《題破山寺後禪院》意境轉化與配音創作問題。以「清晨入古寺」之境界聲音爲例，問諸生如欸配音。回答皆以「有我之境」轉換此詩意境，深違向之所識。一週蒐集資料，似「有我之境」爲主流解讀，「有我」、「無我」非關乎對錯，關乎題旨也。「無我之境」固需多方資料佐證，本文所錄亦爲「轉換」之作，大多「轉換」爲「有我之境」。

Original Text by Chang Jian

頷聯有作「曲徑」，有作「竹徑」，於詩意理解影響不大；尾聯有作「惟餘」，有作「惟聞」，於詩意理解至關重要。

Translation by Lu Pei-Xian

目前所見資料，大多採用陸譯。如《漢英對照唐詩三百首》（1997，湖南出版社，454 頁）、《唐詩三百首新譯》（1985，香港商務印書館，260 頁）。

I walk into the ancient shrine at dawn,
The rising sun gilding the green wood tall.
A winding path leads to a calm retreat,
And deep the greenery round the Buddah hall.
The birds are galddened by the mountain light,
Shaded pools bring my heart to peaceful climes.
All fretful stirrings of the world now hushed,
I only hear deep bells and tingling chimes.In the Rear Buddah Hall of the Broken Hill Temple

陸譯視首聯「清晨」爲時間狀語，譯爲 at dawn，增添主語 I。頸聯「人心」轉換爲「我心」(my heart)。尾聯於「餘」、「聞」二字中取「聞」，而誰「聞鐘磬音」呢？一以貫之，添加主語自然就譯成了 I only hear…。

Translation by Ye Yang

葉揚英譯此詩，是他翻譯駱玉明《簡明中國文學史》時「順手」隨正文而譯。見於 A Concise History of Chinese Literature (P290, Luo Yuming, Brill, 2011)。

In early morning, I entered the ancient temple;
The rising sun was shining on the tall woods.
A path through bamboos led to the quiet place,
At the Buddhist lodge, lush were flowers and trees.
Scenes in the hills cheered up the birds,
Reflections in the pool cleared up human mind.
All around there, the world was so quiet, Only the ringing of the bells lingered.Written on the Wall of a Buddhist Lodge behind the Broken Hill Temple

葉譯文似無意追求音韻。首聯亦視「清晨」爲時間狀語(in early morning)，添加主語 I。頸聯「人心」取 human mind 而非「我心」(my heart)。尾聯取「餘」而無我「聞」之。

Translation by Sun Da-Yu

常建原詩行文用詞還算「平易近人」，孫譯文用了些許「生僻」大詞，令人生疑。首聯處理同前述兩譯者，我 repair 古寺，用了個十分古舊的詞表達「入」意。頸聯「人心」爲 one’s mind，非「我心」。尾聯亦無「我」，不過「萬籟」居然被當成了 hubbubs of man（熙熙攘攘），常建可能會抗議。

When at dawn I repaired to the bonzary old,
The first beams of the rising sun shone on trees tall.
Winding paths led to covert, secluded groves
Where lush thicket and flowers enclosed th’dhyana hall.
The rare aura of the mount pleased the nature of the birds,
Images in rock pit pools freed one’s mind’s ups and downs.
All the hubbubs of man were hushed as by a spell:
There was nothing left but the bell’s and qing’s clangs.On the Rear Dhyana Hall of Po Shan Bonzary

Translation by Witter Bynner

Witter Bynner 的譯文就行文看已完全屬於「以詩譯詩」。他也沒有刻意用「大詞」傳意，所用 points、alive、touches、a thound sounds、breathing 都是「平易近人」的詞彙。因「以詩譯詩」之故，等於依照常建原詩意境，以英文重述。首聯轉換時並無「我」，把「我」對應在原詩頷聯中，仍爲「有我之境」。（Classical Chinese Literatue，香港中文大學出版社，2002 年，841頁，文章鏈接需翻牆）

In the pure morning, near the old temple,
Where early sunlight points the tree-tops,
My path has wound, through a sheltered hollow
Of boughs and flowers, to a Buddhist retreat.
Here birds are alive with mountain-light,
And the mind of man touches peace in a pool,
And a thousand sounds are quieted
By the breathing of a temple-bell.A Buddhist Retreat behind Broken-Mountain Temple

Translation by Giles A. H.

Giles（即翟理斯）在 1898 年出版的 Chinese Poetry in English Verse（92 頁）和 1901 年出版的 A History of Chinese Literature （158 頁）兩本書中均引此詩，並翻譯如下。大概他有意追求音韻，尾韻比常建原詩還「整齊」。

The clear dawn creeps into the convent old,
The rising sun tips its tall trees with gold,
As, darkly, by a winding path I reach
Dhyana’s hall, hidden midst fir and beech.
Around these hills sweet birds their pleasure take,
Man’s heart as free from shadows as this lake;
Here worldly sounds are hushed, as by a spell,
Save for the booming of the altar bell.DHYÂNA

看到他的譯文，心中舒一口氣，「吾道不孤」，世界上還是有人不以首聯「清晨」爲時間狀語的——這或許與本詩「有我」、「無我」之境無關。首聯「清晨」他視作主語譯爲 clear（清）dawn（晨）。不過，與Bynner類似，翟理斯仍在頷聯中把詩人翻譯進去了！「曲徑」居次，只是由「我」by a winding path而已，蓋物客我主之觀念「作祟」——這就與「有我」、「無我」之境有關了。

Translation by Fletcher, W. J. B.

Fletcher 比 Bynner 更進一步「以詩譯詩」，用詞比 Bynner 似乎更加「考究」；處理「有我」、「無我」時，也比 Giles 更進一步。此譯文見於他 1919 年出版的 Gems of Chinese Verse: Translated Into English Verse 一書 216 頁。

Where the suns eye first
Peers above the pines,
On the ancient temple Early daylight shines.
To retirement guiding
Leads the winding way:
Round the Cell of Silence Flowers and Foliage stray.
Hark! the birds rejoicing
In the mountain light!
Like one’s dim reflection
On a pool at night
Lo! the heart is melted Wav’ring out of sight.
All is hushed to silence.
Harmony is still.
The bell’s low chime alone Whispers round the hill.The Hall of Silence

不過，與前面幾人不同，他理解常建原詩，或是從「無我之境」開始的。首聯處理便同其他譯者不同，「清晨」不是時間狀語，轉換成 early daylight shines。並無「我」之蹤影，全詩乃稍帶擬人化的「以物觀物——『自在之物』」。

Conclusion

前引英譯六種，三華人三洋人。翻譯風格或有差別，首聯並非要對仗，但「清晨」確存在兩種不同解讀。課上斥諸生白話還原「清晨我走進古寺」爲非，但考察英譯六種之轉換，此種解讀似爲中外「主流」。至寫作此文時，尚未在國人文獻中發現視「清晨」爲「主語」的。

不過，就此詩體制、常建詩風、時代環境臆測，仍堅持此詩爲「無我之境」，僅憑幾首英譯當然不能支撐這個觀點，還有待深入分析常建文獻。

回到文初所言，若把此詩意境攝製視頻短片，不應放一個人進入畫面扮演詩人。此詩鏡頭不是詩人的眼睛，鏡頭是造化本身！

The article was recently updated on Monday, October 23, 2023, 13:36:37 by 👩 高松年.